A Pittsburgh Guy's Blog

Done With Dis Blog, Beeyatches!

2006-06-27T09:50:00.000-04:00

Yep, I'm done with this one.

I am going to continue my writings elsewhere, so if you're interested drop me a line. My email addy is under the links on the right hand side of this page.

Psycho Bitches, II

2006-06-26T22:26:00.000-04:00

I *must* also change my friggin' email address.

sigh

Psycho Bitches

2006-06-26T22:17:00.000-04:00

I am pissed off. As many as you know, I have spent the last several days moving. It's a very stressful event and it's not like I have much time to talk to anyone.

However a certain nutcase has continually wrote and texted me even though I've had no access to internet. Tonight was the final straw. I get this out of the blue:

"I think were done, lets both move on. Please dont contact me"

Nutcase peeps. I attract them.

Oh and because of said nutcase, I must now get my cell number changed.

That's It For Now!

2006-06-24T00:12:00.000-04:00

Last posting until who knows when!

I'll be going out tomorrow to do some partying, and then doing the same after my closing on Friday-believe me I'll need it on Friday. Not sure when I'll be blogging next.

Take care!

Riding (Audio Blog Version)

2006-06-21T19:21:00.000-04:00

This is the audio version to an earlier post:

I give my bikes names. Or not necessarily names but genders...

Audio Post Test

2006-06-20T21:46:00.000-04:00

I am going to try narrating this blog instead of typing it, as typing is real pain in my arse. As my first test I will "demo" the latest "poll question" in audio instead of text. Hope you enjoy!

PghGuy's FRILLCAM (aka Tong Me Baby)

2006-06-20T16:24:00.000-04:00

T'was only a joke.

No webcams on this boy :)

My Nightstand

2006-06-19T21:44:00.000-04:00

Forget the friggin' fridge memes. Here is my nightstand!Condoms, a watch, a flashlight and old cellphones.

Moving Randoms

2006-06-19T21:37:00.000-04:00

Quite a bunch of crap left behind from old girlfriends. Let's take a look, shall we?

Baby Oil

A toothbrush. I use this to clean my bathroom (toilet crevices)...seriously! I hope she comes back for this.

Shampoo

A bunch of CDs (being donated)

A GameCube. OK so that's not crap!

Riding

2006-06-19T15:42:00.000-04:00

I give my bikes names. Or not necessarily names but genders.

My last bike that was stolen was a she. She was quite PMS'y at times, especially when she once threw me off and broke my wrist and bloodied me up but good. She also would get cranky when I would change gears on hills and cause the chain to pop off. It sucks to be pumping hard when the chain pops off. I think she liked me getting my hands dirty and hearing my barrage of curse words when I had to cajole the chain back onto her sprockets. She must have known I am not a morning person because she seemed to do this while biking to work in the AM. Meow! Alas like most feminine things she is now out of my life, being ridden by someone else. I will never be pumping her tires again nor turning her over and lubricating her with loving care with my big tube of grease.

I'm not intimate enough with my new bike for it to have a gender yet. A bit more riding will determine that.

And ride it I will, with my spandex'd-assed shorts.

4 Days Of Postings Left

2006-06-19T13:07:00.000-04:00

I probably have a good 4 days of blogging before chaos befalls upon my life. Ah, so I guess these are going to have be some "virtual" wild-n-crazy 4 days!

Perhaps I can outdo myself from two weekends ago?

I would today except for the fact I drank quite a few margaritas and wine at a party yesterday. Not to mention my house is a sweltering box of hell at the moment and sleep did not come easily, especially for the dog who paced and panted all night.

Guess I'm down to 3 days now.

My Cousin

2006-06-18T22:11:00.000-04:00

One of my many single cousins is about 6 years younger than me. He's a very good looking Italian kid (yeah I use kid cuz he will always be a kid brother to me). Tonight my uncle was poking some fun at him saying he hooks up with "dirty women" and then my cousin looked at me and laughingly said "PghGuy hooks up with more dirtier women than I do!"

Dear cousin and I once competed for the same girl. Neither of us hooked up with her though. Punk.

My dear cousin recently had his younger sister to stay over at his place and she complained that the random woman he brought home screamed "Jesus" too much and that she had to cover her ears with a pillow. (We're very open in the Family).

Ha!

My last random hookup was awful. I think she screamed out Bilbo or something.

My Hero

2006-06-18T22:00:00.000-04:00

My grandfather is my hero. I love you Pap. I know I will never aspire to the incredible person you are, Godfather.

Wang

2006-06-18T12:47:00.000-04:00

I've raised the white flag on wang. You've beat me, J.

assHOKE.

A Pittsburgh Margarita

2006-06-17T20:54:00.000-04:00

This is how we do things in the 'Burgh, beeyatches!

A barrel of Instant Ocean salt...

wet the rim of a glass and dunk in the barrel...

...Add some Tropicana Lemonade and a shot of Jose Juice and you've got a 'Burgh Margarita!

Kong This!

2006-06-17T20:35:00.000-04:00

Hey J, here's a puppy Kong for you to suck on.

Dessert For One

2006-06-17T20:13:00.000-04:00

A whole wheat wrap, cottage cheese, blueberries and whipped cream...

...combine to make a delicious and healthy dessert wrap!

Table For One

2006-06-17T19:33:00.000-04:00

Sex Blogger, you wanted to see my evening of cooking so here you go.

something is cookin'...

mmm...spareribs!

outdoor table for one. something is missing though.

Boxes and Boxes and Boxes and Boxes

2006-06-17T12:44:00.000-04:00

This is going to be my life for the next week or so.

Eating off of paper plates and drinking from plastic cups. That's hot! I need a date to come here now for some classy dining and wine drinking!

Boxes...

And boxes...

And more boxes...

Lightening the load a bit...

The dogs couch? It's curbside fodder now. Outta here...

What I dread the absolute most...having to move these guys. Kill me now.

Dammit...and I still need to cut the grass once again. At least the dog is enjoying it.

Rebooting

2006-06-16T23:25:00.000-04:00

I'm rebooting the blog and myself at the moment. Please be patient.

I owe an apology to my fellow bloggers. I haven't visited or commented on your sites. And I probably won't for the next few weeks, nor update this blog very often. I need to be consumed with my upcoming move. I spent tonight packing, and I'm exhausted. This will be the case until the end of the month.

I'm also in some sort of funk at the moment. I can't explain why. I'm not sure I know myself, but I feel lost. I will talk more about this later.

Anyways, from this point on the blog will be a bit different. I need to recapture the spirit of blogging for myself, and not an audience.

Another Blogger

2006-06-16T23:24:00.000-04:00

Tales from the old blog

To "The Girl in the Other Room" blogger, I was horrible to you. I so adored you but I know you didn't feel the same way and I hurt you horribly. I do apoligize, for what it's worth. I wanted you so badly and couldn't accept the fact you didn't want me. And I ruined what could've been an amazing friendship. I will always remember you spending time with me here, having dinner and creating your blog. It's also another reason I'm glad to get out of this old place where I live.

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
...
I never meant to hurt you
In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
As I wake I'm going out of my mind

And just for the record, this is another case of someone adoring my online personality but not attracted to me in person. I'm heinous in person, folks.

Finale...To "J"

2006-06-16T00:58:00.000-04:00

"We should be lovers...and that's a fact."

New Template Text Test

2006-06-15T00:18:00.000-04:00

Dear fellow bloggers, Well, we've all been quite personal and shown the insides of our fridges. Tomorrow I will show you my toilet.

I know that you'll be dying to see my flusher.

Also it will give me a chance to show my housecleaning. I've been to many a single guy's house and I'd be terrified to sit my ass on his can. When I see crusty yellow things and mold growing on the outside and inside of the crapper I know that this is a place I should my bring an ass condom to. I also would be hesitant to use his eating utensils.

True Story:
I once had a friend who told me he was out of TP, and if I needed use the can that I could use the washcloth hanging next to the john, and that that I should rinse it in the sink afterwards. Um, sure... I'm sure glad I brought my toothbrush over and left that on your sink.

Kiss My Crack

2006-06-15T00:06:00.000-04:00

I've been told an anonymous blogger-or bloggers, have been writing to some people and saying they "know me" and that "they've met me" and that I'm a player. Well bitches, I've only met one other blogger intimately, and I know it's not her writing. So show so some balls and either admit you're full of shit or tell me who you are. Otherwise kiss my white ass.

Effective Immediately Redux...

2006-06-13T20:19:00.000-04:00

...This blog will now become a pay-per-use blog. Sorry, I gotta eat somehow. I will also accept sexual favors. Again, I gotta eat...You pay I, blog. I will post my bank wire details shortly. And my phone number.

(off topic post) WANG!

2006-06-13T19:35:00.000-04:00

Eat this wang, J.

Come on, I whipped mine out. Is that the best you can do?

Dating for Dummies, Chapter I

2006-06-13T18:23:00.000-04:00

The first chapter deal with confidence, and asks the question if you are ready to date in the first place.

You are ready date if:

You've got a stable place to live and a way to make a living.
You have a reasonably good working relationship with your parents (okay, so long as your're not at war; a cease fire is good enough).
You have a friend or two hanging about.
You know how to make yourself reasonably happy.
You'd really like some tension and aggravation and excitement and fun and worry and uncertainty in your life.

I like the last line the best. A few posters have mentioned the hassles and aggravations of dating, and this line sums it up perfectly. It comes with the territory, fellow singles!

Dating for Dummies, Intro

2006-06-12T21:55:00.000-04:00

I am taking a cue from C4U; she often posts quotes from the book "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" on her blog. I love those quotes and try to learn from them.

So dear readers, on my skimpy bookshelf sits a book called "Dating for Dummies". Yes. You know to what I refer. That familiar Black and Yellow "Dummy..." book series. This book was written by Dr. Joy Browne.

Therefore to help other singles, such as Christina and myself, I will summarize important points of each chapter on a regular basis.

This is a Dating Blog. So let's get back into it-I've dusted off the book, sneezed a bit, and I'm ready to try something new!

(click the image for a link to Amazon.com)

What's Next?

2006-06-12T16:14:00.000-04:00

What's next for this blog, now that I've run it into the ground with my crazy weekends postings, and let's not forget the dating drama which almost leveled two other blogger's blogs-and my sanity. Well almost. I don't want anyone to stop blogging because of me.

We can talk about the sane part and the voices in my head later. Ha! What? Are you talkin' to me? Do you think I'm funny, do I amuse you?

Where was I going with this? I think it's time for some blogging normalcy. But has this blog ever truly been normal? I don't want it to be bland; but people seem to misinterpret what I'm doing here exactly.

Well, a few people do get it. And that's all that matters I suppose.

Does anyone else start to feel that doing a blog can get tedious?

What Happened??

2006-06-12T05:29:00.000-04:00

The whole thing left me mentally and emotionally exhausted...I don't even recall falling asleep. I don't even know what time it was but I'm looking at my post times yesterday which ended at 7:30ish.

No wonder I'm up at 5am this morning.

Maybe I'm a werewolf or something. I'll need to check the news this morning.

I'm looking forward to this now. Woohoo!

T'is Only A Flesh Wound!

2006-06-11T19:35:00.001-04:00

Blogger is on the verge of another meltdown this evening it would appear.

You can check the status of their useless hamster-up-the-rectal system here.

In the event of an extreme failure, like we saw earlier this week, I will continue posting here.

Bitches. How dare you intefere with my very important dating life. My panties are bunched, so piss off.

An Interesting Thought (for me)

2006-06-11T16:58:00.000-04:00

I have only dated a few Pittsburgh native girls. My ex was definitely one. But everyone after her has not been from this area. I'm not sure why or how this has happened. Does this say something about the women from this area? Or is it just wierd circumstances that have transpired which has caused this?

Pittsburgh has been rated as one of the worst places to be single. I find it odd that everyone I've dated up till now is not from here.

Just a random Sunday thought.

Weekend Postings Recap

2006-06-11T12:39:00.000-04:00

Some of the dating drama aside, I made a bet with a friend that I could make my writings this weekend that of raving lunatic. The bet was to alternate lunatic postings and "light" postings and see the fallout.

I have now won that bet. (Check the comments)

It's all in the name of writing-remember this. You've been a great audience, thank you for the applause, I'll be here all week.

This Morning's Hate Mail

2006-06-11T10:53:00.000-04:00

Reader Discretion Advised. Seriously.

Hatemail

PghGuy

Fucker. Im going to fuck u up the way u did me. U goddamn mother fucking pussy assedcock sucking bitch. I hope u fucking rot alone for the rest of ur miserable patheticlife. How could u be such a fucking low life loser bitch.

and

you FUCKED ME OVER.... you lying SON OF A BITCH. Instead of being a LOWLIFE PATHETIC loser... you could have told me you had no interest in any kind of relationship... you could have been honest.

and

I told you i'm a woman, i think you're blog is
hilarious, and for heaven's sake, i thought you had a
sense of humor!

if you're going to wig out because a WOMAN thought
your photo was cute and was flirting with you, forget
it!

You must get mean when you drink, so maybe I'm not
interested afterall.

You need to get offline and get out there and start
living.

I Love The Suspense

2006-06-11T10:40:00.000-04:00

...I hope it will last.

- Willly Wonka

Oooh I love how things have turned quite raunchy and downright nasty around here.

ding ding ding!

In this corner....!

People being called harpies. wackos. bitter. pissed off bloggers. tons of hate-mail!

I can't wait to see what happens next! And to think I've only had one cup of coffee yet.

That's IT

2006-06-11T00:13:00.000-04:00

OK, so whoever fucked me over tonight, I will find you. I promise you that you fat disgusting prick. Your are the same, wusses who won't get into my face. Just once, I beg someone to get in my face. I so want to put my boxing punch into use on your fat melon. Or better yet, perhaps you forget that I am rather close to an Attorney. I also am good friends with a police officer on here. Think about this, prick.

Now I have nothing else to do but get really drunk and hope that you choke on your potato chips you friggin' prick.

Wet Dreams

2006-06-10T23:29:00.000-04:00

Yeah. Let's talk hot, wet, dirty sex dreams.

The Ongoing Saturday Drunk-n-ness Postings

2006-06-10T22:09:00.000-04:00

Dammit.

Got nothing again. Yet.

Ah Ok I do. So I have not responded to postings or visited other blogs for a reason this evening. If I leave a comment my photo will be part of that comment. I am only leaving my fugly mug up for a few hours this evening.

More thoughts in a bit as I finish my late-night supper...

Dear Cellphone/Veggie Girl,

When blogger was sucking my dick quite badly with razor blades, I tried out Yahoo 360 as a potential replacement. In setting my new account up I came across a Yahoo group that you and I had both once belonged to. I also saw that pictures of one of the group's outings (that included you and me) are still there. I hate you. I also hate Yahoo, for one year later it threw this back into my face.

It's too bad you couldn't put your cellphone down when we were fucking. Maybe you should stick the cellphone up there and set it to vibrate?

Consider today, June 10th, my Festivius. The Airing of Grievances. Oh and I have a lot of griveances with people! Seriously though, I am only trying to see how bizarre and creative I can be. We'll return to regular programming shortly.

The Next Sex Poll

2006-06-10T20:31:00.000-04:00

Since self-gratfication seems to be a fascination with me, let's continue on shall we. I know you've been simply dying to have the next question. I will no longer torture you and thus I present this poll questions. Take your time. Reflect. Ponder. But don't wait too long or I'll spam your ass.

Update: Boyfriend/Girlfriend is now ahead with 7 votes. PghGuy is second with 5 votes, followed closely by zombies with 4 votes.

Let's see if this rockets me back into first place...ha!

Update2 (10 June): I also wanted to mention that I have NOT voted in this poll.

Saturday's Second 1/2 Drunken Post

2006-06-10T19:52:00.000-04:00

Or something like that...

Oh it's such a tragic tale. Something along the lines of a Romeo and Juliet. I need to get my box Kleenex handy before I continue this sad tale. My tears will be flowing freely...

They were so in love.
inseperable.
where one was-
the other would be.
the world was perfect...
...
One day he (or was it she?)
was not to be found.
the disapperance was a mystery
and is still unexplained to this day.
but a perfect world was now shattered...
...
Oh yes she tried to carry on for a few days.
but she wouldn't eat.
her life was empty now.
never again would she feel his anntenae on hers.
...
The loss was too unbearable.
she just couldn't take it anymore.
and one, dark stormy night...
...
(sorry forgot I had to update this posting first)
...
She decided she could not go on.
she jumped.
she was found on the floor.
nothing but a dried crisp.
nothing but an empty husk she had become.

..
(excuse as I find my box of Kleenex. I was going to wipe my tears but it's time for something else)

My Hero

2006-06-10T19:30:00.000-04:00

Ahh, forget the glowing lightsaber.

I want the ability to fry some ass.

I get on my knees for you my Master.

Saturday's First 1/2 Drunken Post

2006-06-10T18:56:00.000-04:00

I got nothin'. Slight buzz maybe. So blow me.

Wait. Strike that. I do have an idea now. Hang on.

My ode to the sweet veggie girl (and SBS, I have nothing against veggies, dated several):

Dear Veggie Girl,

I saw your soymilk
And you saw my sausage

You had your head of broccoli
I had my head of beef

You had your shrooms
Me, well my wings

My meat
your veggies
ever so close to combining

Had fate not prevented you
from forgetting your wallet
I would have bagged your sweet
cantaloupe with my own hands

Now excuse me, beeyatches, as I'm a little misty eyed thinking she'll never taste my sausage. Oh and dear veggie girl, I would have prepared a veggie sausage, one that was just firm enough and would have melted in your mouth. Mmm.

And to you, veggie girl, my sausage dedicates this song to your soymilk:

I Saw You First

2006-06-10T18:49:00.000-04:00

Christ, what's she doing with him-she could be dancing with me
She stirs the ice in her glass with her elegant finger
I want to be what she's drinking, yeah I just want to be
I saw you first

Sidewalk Talk

2006-06-10T18:11:00.000-04:00

The landlord shows up and I take the dog for a walk around the neighborhood. As we turn down the next street I see this girl sitting on the sidewalk. She was probably late 20's/early 30's. Black hair. Thin. Nice Smile. Cute sunglasses. Low rider jeans.

I smile at her and she laughs and tells me she wanted to sit in the sun so that's why she is sitting in the middle of the sidewalk reading. We must have talked for 5 minutes. And of course in the back of mind the whole time is..."hey she lives practically right behind me. I should ask her to come over dinner and wine." Well that was my fantasy.

Her boyfriend pulls up in his car, we say goodbye...yep, goodbye.

Saturday Randoms

2006-06-10T15:19:00.000-04:00

Bleh! Landlord just left...it must have been a two hour showing. But I didn't complain one bit. Two parents were here with their 20-ish daughter looking at the place with her (she wants to rent it). Damn was she cute. I so should've left underwear lying around. Ha!

Here's tonight's wine selection, courtesy of Francis Ford Copolla. Should be interesting, it's Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah. Now I just need a nice woman here to share it with!

Today, and today only, I am sharing my picture. Check my profile for the pic.

I did a bit of grocery shopping today. When checkout time comes I always try to find a cute woman who will be in front of me while standing in line. No problem today. I'm checking out her purchases. Oh yeah, she's vegetarian no doubt about that. I can't wait to put all of my meat purchases up on the belt behind her stuff haha! Uh oh, she left her wallet in the car. She's all embarassed. I smile and tell her hey it happens. Goodbye Stranger, maybe my sausage and your soymilk will meet again someday...

Drunken Post

2006-06-09T22:30:00.000-04:00

I want what I can't have.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!

Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings

She Was Gorgeous!

2006-06-09T20:51:00.000-04:00

I went out with a friend tonight for some drinks. It was such a nice day so we did the outside seating. A few minutes later, at a table across from us, sat this very beautiful girl and her friend. She kept glancing at me, and I at her. At one point I saw this crazy little box on their table. I called over "Hey I've never seen cigarettes like that!" and she said "they are vanilla clove, do you want one?" I replied back "Yes!".

I walked over to their table and sat down. So she gave me a clove cig and I lit it. She put one in her mouth and tried to light it, but it was so windy so I had to give her the lighter. I then returned back to my friend.

Anyways I have no balls. I could not ask her for her number. As my friend and I left I said to her:
"you are gorgeous". She giggled and said "thank you".

If I had balls, her and I would be kissing right now.

Thanks To Blogger "Trouble"

2006-06-09T14:44:00.000-04:00

I'm now thinking about my man cans. My moobs. My non-mammary male apparati.

I want some woman to fondle them and use that can of Redi Whip on me then suck it off. Now that's hot.

I can't wait to go drinking tonight. Yah!

Effective Immediately...

2006-06-09T11:09:00.000-04:00

This blog will now be discussing Zombies.

Well ok, not really, I'm just extremely hung over and need clear the fog before posting ;)

Tale of the Other Blogger, revisited

2006-06-08T22:23:00.000-04:00

My god. I'm resurrecting a story from my old blogging life, one that I never wanted to bring up again. Many of the "old" bloggers know this storied tale. I met another blogger, things didn't turn out, and she slammed me horribly on her blog. It was humiliating beyond words.

I've been talking with two bloggers. Blogger number one kept everything quiet and personal when we talked. Blogger number two felt compelled to share personal things. I will not go through this again. Never.

When blogger two wrote about these certain details I had a panic attack. It reminded me of the when I had met the very first blogger months ago and we agreed NOT to write about each other, yet she did. And thus I nuked my blog. I will not do this again.

I am infuriated that I have to bring this up again. I came this close to nuking this blog. Fuck.

Test Post

2006-06-08T21:30:00.000-04:00

Can you see my balls, Blogger? Cuz I've busted your's today.

Romantic Things That Turn Me On

2006-06-08T11:39:00.000-04:00

Partial list...I'll get to the more, shall we say, erotic things next.

Deep Kissing-feeling her mouth and tongue on mine

Holding hands-feeling her soft skin, her grip in mine

Deep eye contact-me getting lost in her eyes, knowing we belong to each other

Conversation about nothing-with soft kisses, holding hands and looking into each others' eyes.

Oh and I can't forget the slow dancing, which leads to the slow undressing of each other...

To be continued...

What Turns Me On

2006-06-07T22:35:00.000-04:00

This is my f0llowup post to "What Turns Me Off"

Sadly the unlubricated stick a cork up my ass whilst holding me down with three sumo carb eating bastards with teeny tiny pricks who tried to run me over whilst on my bike and stuck me in their compact car and even fucking tasering their fat asses seems to have eaten my last post.

I Heart (and soul) Blogger!

2006-06-07T22:21:00.000-04:00

Dear Blogger,

I know your network is advanced, but I wouldn't trust your admins with a potato gun...

I know that you are owned by Google, but you really need to feed the hamster that runs the your network more often...

I only work a lowly University job. But if our uptime was as equally good as yours, I'm sure our students wouldn't mind...

Things That Turn Me Off

2006-06-07T10:41:00.000-04:00

I've been going through my mind of things that can turn me off in a relationship. It takes a lot to push my buttons but when that occurs I start shutting down. And that leads to the dark side.

Not giving me ME time
Being too needy
Getting pissed on boy's night out
Making me pull words out of your mouth
Not telling me what's bothering you or on your mind
Having a foul temper
Calling and arguing with me at work
Not being respectful of others
Being stubborn/not wanting to try new things

This is all I can really think of at the moment.

I Got Nothing Tonight, Beeyatches

2006-06-06T10:59:00.000-04:00

Yeah nothing really to write. Sorry. Oh wait. I was in the shower this morning and my doorbell rang, the dog is barking and I hear someone yelling "Hello??" It was my landlord who brought some chic over to show the place but forgot to call me. Grrrr.

I should've come down the steps nekkid and said that I come with the place when she rents it. Anyways I had to hurriedly get dressed and out the door. Realized I forgot to put on deodarant. Good thing I keep a stick at the office.

Since several bloggers have been doing the whole fridge haiku/meme/whatever, I figured I'd show my office fridge. I dare you keep something in the bottom of this thing. Ha!

Offline Bloggers

2006-06-05T19:20:00.000-04:00

In a perfect world I could get to know both of these bloggers.

When the first blogger and I started talking we had a great connection; shortly after I began talking with the second blogger. It was at that point I panicked and told the first blogger that I wasn't interested.

I hurt the first blogger pretty badly by shutting myself down to her. I had to stop and think that yes, there is a living breathing person out there. I felt extremely horrible about what I did.

I'm done with the drama here, folks.

Wine and Cheese

2006-06-05T17:54:00.000-04:00

I am going to show my wine and cheese I'll be enjoying before digging into my onion-y burgers. The women will be beating down my door now:

mmm...american cheese!

A Critical Error

2006-06-05T14:04:00.002-04:00

In doing this blog thing I have made a critical error.

Someone is going to be hurt, including myself.

This was my own doing.

I have been talking offline with two bloggers. I find both of them amazing, attractive and wanting to meet them. It's been incredible. And here's where my error comes into play. It's long distance with both. I should've thought about this more; when people live locally it's easy to get to know a person or persons and then center on the person that really captures your heart... (more as I get my thoughts together)

Long Distance Love

2006-06-05T13:22:00.000-04:00

It scares me. Realllllly scares me. Some of you who read my old blog should understand my hesitation. That's all I'll say there.

I've met a lot of people in my post-marriage years. What chemistry there is on the phone or in text may not be there in person. That's what makes long distance hard.

I find myself totally swept up in the moment. I forget reality. Then when I start thinking of reality I find myself pulling back.

I worry that it's easy to create a fantasy world that simply cannot live up to expectations.

Is it unfair to think these thoughts? That maybe, yes, I am getting cold feet? I can't fathom the thought of hurting someone...and I hate myself for this.

The [dating] Force Is Not With Me

2006-06-05T10:51:00.002-04:00

I've got a dilemma. I'm not sure how to handle this, unless someone can suggest how to bend the rules of time and space.

I knew in doing this blogging thing I would end up meeting incredible people. But then reality strikes me.

Distance.

I hate it. I have a hard time dealing with it. I want things here and now. I'm an asshole. I've said this before and I say it again.

FUCK

People think I'm joking when I say this, but fate definitely hates me. To fate, I give you my middle finger before I smash my head into this computer, fucker. I hate you.

Whip Me

2006-06-04T16:03:00.000-04:00

I went shopping for one purpose today, Bea. I shook my can up and down the aisles, baby.

Love For Sale, Part I

2006-06-03T18:11:00.000-04:00

I got a solicitation for a dating service in the mail today. It was addressed to "Single Resident". I was going to toss it out but then I opened it and was reading the short questionnaire they had enclosed. So I thought it might be interesting to post their questions here. They are selling Love, after all. I'm not though, but perhaps you want to get to know me in the name of...science? hehe

Part 1 - Men and Women (I've cut out two of the boring questions on the survey)

1. Are you in a dead end relationship or in a relationship of convenience?
2. Have you been meeting people, who in the beginning seem to be everything you want, and then discover that within six months or a year, they are a totally different person?
3. Do you ever wonder where quality single people go to meet one another?
4. Are you frustrated by the games you have to play to meet someone special?

Blogger Troubles

2006-06-03T13:00:00.000-04:00

I am not able to edit any posts this morning. I want to change my self pity posting from last night but I can't!!

Can anyone else see if they are having this issue??

You'll get a big hug from PghGuy

Friday, Party Time and Wine

2006-06-02T13:51:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday. Once again I haven't had much blogging time today. I'm sure that will change tonight when I get home and start posting crazy comments.

Anyways it's almost time to close up shop and head out and do some drinking. Maybe I'll hookup with some waitress and have some wild monkey sex with her? Maybe there will be a nice monkey posting tomorrow! Nah I wouldn't count on any wild monkey sex stories here tomorrow haha! I'm just looking forward to a nice evening with wine and good food. Oh and to the bitchy waitress who served me last time: when you bend over and your pink thong comes out, what else would you expect me to say?

Wine. I am in search of that perfect wine. The one that pleasantly surprises you because everything else up to that point has been mediocre. It's the one that puts a smile on your face and makes you say "yeah, that's it!" It's also the one that doesn't leave you with a bad hangover. It's just within reach, but should you take the chance and open the bottle?

Tonight's Date - Cancelled

2006-06-01T18:20:00.000-04:00

I had a date scheduled for tonight. However I thought it was in the best interest to cancel it. Her and I chatted a bit yesterday and not only was she incredibly boring but she rambled on about her previous man who had hurt her...blah blah blah, I think about moving back to...blah blah blah, I'm not sure about him...blah blah blah.

After a few minutes I wished that I could hang myself. Thus I told her I was unable to make the date and wished her luck on her endeavours.

So How Often Do You?

2006-06-01T09:17:00.000-04:00

In PghGuy's never-ending thirst for...knowledge, he was trying to think of a new poll question this morning as he was wiping his eye from the stray toothpaste bullet that came flying out from his powered toothbrush. And like that errant drop of paste, it hit him!

PghGuy went to bed like horny rabbit in heat and awoke, well, the same exact way. Of course those issues needed to be...remedied. So that gave him the perfect idea for a new poll question! (Note that you can add your own option if you don't like what's listed here, for those of you with different or unusual, um, habits).

And why the hell am I speaking in the third person?!

The King of Kongs (and toyz)

2006-05-31T23:23:00.000-04:00

To J:

This is the kong toy. Notice the wide opening that easily accepts peanut butter and other hard or creamy stuffings. It makes for hours of entertainment. It's used quite often as you may note from the wear and tear...

...Oh wait! Wrong toy. Sorry 'bout that!

Oh, whew! Here is the mysterious shredded toy.

A Steamy Post

2006-05-31T19:03:00.000-04:00

I just had to take a cold shower. I wish I could say it was from riding around with Law Girl in her pickup truck, but alas that's not the case. It's extremely hot in this place and having no A/C and only a fan, well, a cold shower was needed. I also realized it's that time of the month. Paying of the bills that is. I just love this chore. However I'm a bit in awe realizing this is the last time I pay rent.

I only hope the bitch ghost plans on staying.

Are You My Princess...Or The Queen?

2006-05-31T18:00:00.000-04:00

PghGuy is pretty easy going. He's pretty open and likes to think very honest. While looking for his next potential girlfriend (and hopefully more) there are always some rules he keeps in the back of his mind. This is obviously only a small part of the list but it's started:

He does not tolerate drama. My idea of drama is realizing I'm out of clean underwear.
He does not tolerate mean tempers and people who smash/break things. Things getting smashed up and broken during sex if fine.
He does not tolerate childishness. If you are going to act like a baby then go suck something else, because it certainly won't be me you'll doing.
He does not tolerate name calling. This probably ties into childishness but it's worth mentioning. Calling me your love machine is fine.
He does not want to hear about your last boyfriend's wang, weewee, pecker or johnson. Especially if said boyfriend gave you an STD; in that case I wouldn't touch you with his henry.

What sort of things do you not tolerate?

Happy...Wednesday

2006-05-31T17:04:00.000-04:00

Or whatever it is.

I'm trying to blog but people apparently feel I should be doing work or that I'm the office therapist. How dare you interefere with my important blogging!

Anyways I need to keep this short but wanted to throw out a "Yo"!

Oh and in the name of science...er, um, dating, I'm going to try and work my PghGuySTUFF(tm) on a very attractive woman who winked at me via Match.com. More later!

I'm moving this post back to the top, as always because when it rains it pours. I just got another random Match wink. Although this woman is a bit older and has a kid she's not bad looking.

I'm A Whore!

2006-05-29T23:31:00.000-04:00

I went to the bar to get a six pack tonight. Why? Well nevermind. I have a story to tell here!

Apparently I lost my credit card. I went back and the bro didn't see it anywhere. So I called Mastercard. A very nice woman answered.

Her: "How may I help you, Mr. PghGuy?"
Me: "Hi! I lost my card at the bar. Please call me by first name!"
Her: "Ok, PghGuy, if anyone tries to use it now they'll be blocked"
Me: "Oh, are you gonna break their legs for me?
Her: (Stumbling on her script) "Well I could do that for you, yes. Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?"
Me: "Will you have a drink with me?"
Her: (flustered); "Hehe, well, Um, A new card will be issued for you"

Yeah!

What The Hell??

2006-05-29T22:34:00.000-04:00

I'm out for six pack on work night. Gods help me.

Roses In My Backyard

2006-05-29T15:43:00.000-04:00

For you, bslawg and also to the other incredible female bloggers who have come into my life!

The Bitch Ghost

2006-05-29T14:07:00.000-04:00

The current place I rent is haunted. Yeah, I'm going to come across as a lunatic in this post, be forewarned.

The only time weird things start happening is when I have a woman here. There have been crashing sounds, windows opening, things that have been moved, and the dog barking with her fur standing up at odd places here. On my beloved grandmothers life, I am not making this up.

When my ex-girlfriend lived here with me, there were several times she woke me in the middle of the night convinced there was an intruder. One night we heard a huge crashing sound in the kitchen; my heart has never pounded harder in my life. I actually called out something like "I have a gun here mother f*cker" as I slowly came downstairs dressed only in boxers wishing I had a baseball bat.

It's been very "quiet" for the last few months, obviously. However weird shit is starting up again. Now this could be two factors: fact one I'm out of here soon. Fact two I've begun getting to know someone else.

I just got off the phone with said person; not a second after that I heard a weird bang/crash sound in the living room. I came running in here and I can't find anything.

The dog has been driving me crazy today by wanting to stay outside. That's pretty, actually very highly, unusual for her.

I'm a bit freaked out right now. I can't wait to get the hell out of here.

And in case you're curious about the picture for this post, these are actual "orbs" I snapped here; but only on the staircase. I've got several different angles, lighting, etc. They still show up. I've had a photographic expert examine them with no explanation.

p.s. I'm still scouring the house for the source of the noise.
p.s.s. I don't believe in guns, but I have a sword within easy reach now.

The "Monday Morning And I'm Off and Doing Nothing Today Beeyatches" Posting

2006-05-29T10:51:00.000-04:00

Hmmm.

I got nothing. Yet

Ah ok. Dear Diary (or Blogger):

I've had "nothing" for almost two months now. I wonder if I'll remember what to do.

Oh well I've got a friggin' 19 year old who wants me. That is so hot. I mean especially since she's my cousin's friend and my own cousin tells me she's a whore and that "I shouldn't touch that". Yeah I don't like that actually. I could kill my cousin for giving her my number in the first place. What the hell was I thinking?

Dear gods, is it so hard to meet someone my age? I like to think I could meet anyone but it's been an awfully long drought now; I guess I'm not "all that" that I like to think I am. I just an average guy looking for an above-average love!

On The Fence

2006-05-28T13:27:00.000-04:00

I'm debating whether or not to go this party where "she" is going to be also.

Sigh. Maybe I should go.

I am in a mood for food-n-drink, but I know what will end up happening also; it happens every time we see each other.

Sunday Cwaffee Tawlk

2006-05-28T10:40:00.000-04:00

I'm not gonna hookup with the girl. Decided last night and texted her, which immediately led to a barrage of text and phone calls (which I didn't answer). Anyways this is the plan for now. While this boy may act like a dog, he really wants something more.
I have a freaking mouse in the house. The little bastard destroyed one my dog's Kong toys last night. I saw something sticking out under the couch and saw it was a chewed up toy. I'll post a picture when the camera charges up.
There was some insect flying around my bedroom last night; I keep hearing the "bzzzzzzzzz" of the tiny wings flying around my head. On top of a snoring dog and buzzing insect I certainly know how to keep a late life nightstyle that doesn't involve sex.
I actually hit the market yesterday, breaking my monthly shopping cycle because there were a few things I desperately needed. For once there were some cute women and I tried working my PghGuy-MoJo(tm) but alas to no avail.
It's beautiful, warm and sunny mornings like these that I wish I were having coffee outside with that someone special.

Saturday Musings

2006-05-27T14:44:00.000-04:00

I'm hot and sweaty right now. You all do this to me.

Well ok, it's from doing yardwork and housework. But this blog thing is a nice distraction. I'm starting to think this is my crack.

Anyways I'm taking a break and enjoying a nice [vodka laden] beverage.

So I woke up this morning with my sheets all twisted and thrown off the bed, and with my hand down my shorts. I don't recall any dreams but it must have been good. Of course I had to take care of *that* issue haha!

There has been an interesting flurry of writings from an anonymous poster; I do appreciate your words 'Burgh Girl. For now I'm going to sit back and say nothing. But I do you think you should at the very least create a profile so We/I can know more about you.

I've also been deliberately vague about my "hookup" for tomorrow. It's a guilt thing. More later.

Oh and C4U, I'm wearing my baseball cap reversed right now ;)

I've Decided...

2006-05-27T02:52:00.000-04:00

...To get drunker than fu@k tonight. It's currently 2:50AM here.

On my old blog I once talked about how it might be hilarious to read the postings of a guy who drinks himself to death, much like the Nicolas Cage character in the the movie 'Leaving Las Vegas'.

I still think this would make for an amusing blog! However I wonder if I could find the "Elisabeth Shue" character to assist me. Any takers?

Why say this stuff? Ah. Thanks for asking. There are certain people who would be a perfect fit into my life but when reality strikes I know it's not possible.

What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that youre not there
(Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word)

Don't Throw It Away

2006-05-26T23:51:00.000-04:00

I leave you with one of my favorites for tonight. I'm Head Over Heels for several of you.

Something happens and Im head over heels
Ah dont take my heart
Dont break my heart
Dont throw it away

Mission Accomplished!

2006-05-26T22:05:00.000-04:00

The boy has scored! Someone out of my past has called and we'll be hooking up on Sunday. I was at the bar with some friends when my phone rang. I knew who it was immediately but I ignored her. Upon returning home I gave her a call back; we're going to meet on Sunday. I'm extremely worked up right now thinking about it. I've tasted her kiss on mine and I've undressed her but we've never gone all the way...

...Here's the caveat though...and I've had way too much to drink tonight and I'm gonna regret this in the morning...

She's 19. Flame Away!

Expect this post to change tomorrow

Don't Stick It To Me, O' Dating God(s)

2006-05-26T12:59:00.000-04:00

Your Majesties,

I realize that you, my highnesses have a quirky sense of humour and enjoy a practical joke now and then on your humble populace. However in my case we've run the gamut on some of your pranks now and here's a few things I want to remind thee dear masters and mistresses of what I'm not looking for.

I'm not looking for a woman who:

follows me continuing to yell and rant and then busts down a door when I've tried to get away from her.
smokes more grass than my lawnmower.
is on the road for weeks at a time every month and then makes me drive to have a "quickie".
should put her cellphone on vibrate and pleasure herself with that instead.
thinks the idea of adventure is by saying no to everything.
neglects to tell me she's engaged, living with someone, etc.
asks me out for a date, then never calls and later emails saying she met someone at work, sorry 'bout your luck beeyatch.

Your humble, obedient and eternally-looking-for-mindblowing fellatio,
PghGuy

My Prayer To The Dating God(s)

2006-05-26T11:12:00.000-04:00

Dear Dating Gods,

Please help me find my schmoopie. You know that I don't care what she looks like*. I'm an equally opportunity dater. I would like to meet a woman who enjoys peanut butter and the occasional spank. My schmoopie should also be adventurous and just not in that way, dear dating overlords. She should like to slow dance in the living room barefoot. She also is a great listener and in reverse can carry on great conversation. She should complement my strengths and weaknesses, as I will do for her. Most importantly, honesty and trust should also rate very high for her. I should also mention that her voice should be a melody to my ears. And a woman who is a fantastic kisser and loves holding hands wouldn't hurt either. Is this asking too much my, lieges?

I bow before you 'o dating landlords. I've paid my fair share of rent so how about returning my security deposit?

Sincerely
Your Vas'sal PghGuy

* To a certain degree.

Random Comments

2006-05-25T22:19:00.000-04:00

Here's a few more randoms I'm going to spout off this evening. If you don't like it then choose the "bite me" option on the poll below.

I've been checking out some of my regular visitors' blogs-and I see quite a few anonymous comments like "hey baby" and other suggestive phrases. To you fat, disgusting and married one-handed-while-you-type with your teeny weeny pecker in your hand I hope you keel over when walking to the fridge to get your sugar laden ice cream, ya disgooosting blob. Now if you're single then rock on, brother.

I checked my site logs this evening and was taken aback when I saw that someone from my campus has been looking at this blog regularly. Now granted I work in a huge "environment' with thousands of people so it could be anyone, but nevertheless I'm freaked out. I don't know what this means for my bloggings now...

Oh and I see my dog has yacked in the kitchen. Wonderful!

The "I Love You Forever and Ever and Ever and Even More Than That My Dear Honey That I'd Die Without You My Sweetie Schmoopie Pie" Poll

2006-05-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

I Know Someone...

2006-05-25T16:56:00.000-04:00

Well once again I was discussing my dating trial and tribulations with some friends. One person in particular has been itching to fix me up with "an acquaintance". I've agreed and we've set a date for next week.

I'm hesitant over setups like this.

The last time around a friend set me up, the woman was so boring I basically drank myself into numbness. It's a good thing it was a group date, otherwise I may have been posting this from the netherworld. My friend still tells me she wants to go out again, "I don't what you did to her PghGuy, but she talks about going out with you again".

Let me check my padded-wall schedule.

At Least I Tried

2006-05-25T13:16:00.000-04:00

Walking out to lunch today, solo, I happen across someone else coming out of another building. She was pretty damn hot and dressed extremely nicely. I have no idea who she is or what she does here. I'm calling her HG for Hot Girl.

We're walking along:

Me: Hi, great day finally to head out for lunch.
HG: Yeah! It was really nasty this morning.
Me: So where you headed?
HG: My boyfriend is coming to pick me up and we're going to...

But I tried dammit, I tried!

I'll Get You

2006-05-24T19:13:00.000-04:00

I always told myself that in doing this blog thing I would never discuss "her" in detail. The person who I thought was my soul mate. The person that I ultimately pushed away. Music Girl. But she was a huge part of my life so how can I not talk about it?

Final Part of the story.

After she moved out a few weeks later I hooked up with someone else. I so wanted to get back at her-to throw it in her face.

My attitude was "I'll get back at you, bitch". Not only was I unfair to her, but to the girl I was dating. There was no way I was ready to start dating someone else. My god, I had just spent a year with "music girl" and here I am with someone else in the very house, the very bedroom, we lived and loved each other in.

I remember how cocky I was to her on the phone. I told her I could have anyone I wanted. That I was a great lover and nobody adored her the way I did and her next man would pale in comparison.

The Next "Beverage" of Choice

2006-05-24T18:19:00.000-04:00

One of the many ways I cope with my pathetic life is by enjoying various alcohol-based concoctions. The buzz feel aside, it's loaded with antioxidants, vitamins, minerals and provides a full daily allowance of...oh wait, wrong blog. This was supposed to go on the Why I Love Orange Juice blog. Sorry fellow Juicers!

Let's roll on.

I'm not a big beer drinker so wine is my favorite choice. However I like to deviate now and then and put something different into my mouth. Something that's smooth and not bitter as that sort of reminds of me of kissing, oh, what was her name...I wonder if that's worth a post? Whoa, off track again.

Anyways a picture speaks better than words:(Actually J drinks quite a bit of vodker so she might know about this haha!)

A first...

2006-05-23T23:10:00.000-04:00

Two women tag-teamed me tonight...

...I furiously pounded away with my hands and fingers...

...they told me to go faster...

...my wrists were throbbing...

...My heart was racing...

...I broke into a sweat...

...When it was all over I screamed in glee...

And I wasn't even making love.

I did a first. Thanks Bea and Rowan!

p.s. Trouble, I owe you a meme too. Wait till I write about doing that one. Ha!

Frosty Thoughts

2006-05-23T07:40:00.000-04:00

Riding my bike in to work on clear, frosty morning is a great way to start the day. I love being on the bike, it lets me think and energizes me for the workday. But the thinking part is a double-edge sword; I often start pondering, what else, relationships. I often see a happy couple and I say "I want that"; but sometimes it's "I hate you people for being so happy".

I'm curious if other single people also have this dual attitude to "happy couples". Or I am just an angry bitch?

I was recently at a party and it was mainly couples. There was one couple and this guy who looked like a friggin' loser who had climbed out the sewer who had a beautiful date. I was thinking in my mind "she should be dancing with me..."

XXX-Toyz

2006-05-22T20:22:00.000-04:00

Sex Blogger recently posed a question asking if I found calling "sex lines" erotic. I told her that I've never called anything like that before and my reasoning is if I can't have the real thing then I'd rather not have it all. There's just something creepy and disturbing about this sort of thing to me. Is it the lowest sign of desperation and pathetic-ness that would drive a man to call these sort of things? But her question also made me think of the sex toys men and women can buy to pleasure themselves with. So here's the next poll question I pose!

It's Monday Already??

2006-05-22T06:49:00.000-04:00

How can this be? The weekend, as partially suckie as it was (not only the date but the weather) seems to have flown right by. Now I have to go to work and blog from there soon. Ha!

It's been an interesting few days here on blogland; I've met some very nice people. And let me say that some of you would be dangerous drinking buddies. In more ways than one I'm sure.

Well I've had my morning, um, "workout"(hehe), and now that the weather is finally nice I can resume my bike commuting. Provided I don't become a hood ornament I look forward to reading more blog stuff that prevents me from doing boring work stuff!

Grinding My Nuts

2006-05-21T20:23:00.000-04:00

Today I was at the food co-op, grinding my own peanut butter, something "music girl" and I used to do regularly. Oh how I love the sound of grinding nuts! But it brought back memories, and it's one reason I avoid going to this place now.

After we broke up, I was pretty despondent. I remember calling her and reminding her of the things we had; the things we shared. The love that was supposedly everlasting.

One conversation I explicitly remember:

Me: We always said nothing would ever come between us.
Her: That's something you said.

Now note this is the phrase I would use when I was deep inside of her, her eyes looking deeply into mine. And she always would reply back that she was mine forever.

When she said that to me over the phone, it was worse than anything-anyone has ever said to me in my life.

It was at that point that I knew true love was only a fairy tale. (I don't care what anyone says)

I told my therapist about this months later, and her only reply: Well people say things like that in the moment of passion. (well gee, that's fucking helpful--thanks!)

I think this a reason why I lack trust. When music girl said that to me, it was like putting my nuts into that grinder.

I Had It All

2006-05-21T19:11:00.000-04:00

I always told myself that in doing this blog thing I would never discuss "her" in detail. The person who I think was my soul mate. The person that I ultimately pushed away. Music Girl.

This posting has been influenced by reading other's posts/blogs about commitment.

Her and I were so in love, it was a love I've never experienced and not sure I ever will again. We talked marriage. Our family. It was a love I thought was unbreakable. But of course like all fairy tales I create in my mind that wasn't the case. I remember one sunny summer day we took a ride and wound up looking at wedding rings. After a few hours we found the ring she loved. I almost put the downpayment on it, then I had a flash of anxiety. I just couldn't do it. I told her let's think upon it some more. That was the last time we ever looked at rings.

When I think about this whole dating thing, I'm the one who put myself in this situation. I had it all when I was with her.

So RJ, yes, you are right. It's Karma.

Last Night's Date Thoughts

2006-05-21T15:03:00.000-04:00

Here we go. I've been cooking this posting up in my mind all day now. This post may get edited as I think more upon it-consider this maybe a "draft".

This woman is your typical internet dater. I now know this. She falls under one of these two categories:

PID - Perpetual Internet Dater
NBT - Next Best Thing

These two are very closely tied together. The PID uses online dating for either attention or an ego boost. She really has no desire to get close to anyone. The NBT is the one who does want to get close to someone, but there might be someone better around the corner. She's the one online as soon as the date is over seeing if someone else has written to her.

This is one reason why I despise online dating, and one reason why I don't do it anymore. She's an old remant from that experiment.

Oh and to the beautiful girl I saw at the Co-op checkout line today, thanks for the smile. If my confidence and self-esteem levels weren't in the toilet right now I would've had the balls to talk to you.

ed note: Guys can also be labeled with these terms. I'm only using the female reference, well, because I'm talking about a woman.

A Toast

2006-05-21T13:12:00.000-04:00

A toast to some amazing people...thanks for your words!

My 'Fridge Now, Biatches

2006-05-21T13:00:00.000-04:00

OK so I did some shopping while the landlord was showing the place. As I hate shopping I only try to do it once a month. Did I forget something? Oh well! Has to wait till next month!

However the most important piece is that big 'ole bottle 'o wine on the top shelf. I plan on cracking that open soon and doing a day of drunken rantings! Won't this be fun?! I'll get to your comments (and your blogs) soon.

I need a life. And to finish that last bottle of beer I didn't get to last night.

I'm Out

2006-05-21T09:54:00.000-04:00

Not as hungover as I thought I'd be this morning. I'm still furious about the classless thing that occured on my date last night.

Along the lines of what Seakrait mentioned, I have dated multiple people at the same time but never in a million years would I ever say "I have a date with someone else tomorrow" while out at dinner.

You Just Don't Do That.

After she said that I was totally stunned; If I would have driven I believe I would have left at that point. As I couldn't even look at her after that, she proceeded to ask me "Did I say something that offended you?" I bit my tongue, swallowed my pride and tried to enjoy the rest of the evening. Sitting through Mission Impossible 3 felt like 3 days.

When she dropped me off I shook her hand, said "nice to have met you, good luck with the date tomorrow."

The landlord just called and is bringing some people over to look at the place shortly; so I need to hurriedly type my thoughts and get out.

When You Pleasure Yourself What Do You Think Of?
	Boyfriend/Girlfriend
	Celebrity
	Co Worker
	PghGuy
	Zombies
	Taking a flying fuck ya nosy prick

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How Often Do You Pleasure Yourself
	Once Daily
	More Than Once Daily
	A Few Times a Week
	Rarely
	Bugger off, biatch

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Do You Believe In Such A Thing As "Soul Mates"?
	Yes
	No
	Undecided
	Bite Me

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Do You Own A Toy To Pleasure Yourself With?
	Yes
	No

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